One last quote from Jay Adams:
"One who harbors resentments within, but acts as if nothing were wrong, lies and does not "speak the truth with his neighbor." Signficant communication breaks down because he "has it in for" his neighbor. Communication that coordinates efforts for Christ is impossible, and teh church functions on a minimal superficial level. The eye cannot be angry with the ear, the hand cannot be angry with the foot, without causing poor coordination and giving the Devil an opportunity to cause confusion in the body of Christ....
"Now what does one do when he approaches another after a rift has occurred?... confront the other party and confess any sin.... he is to ask his brother for forgiveness.... When attempting reconciliation, not only is it important to ask specifically for forgiveness, but it is also useful to attempt to get a clear statement of forgiveness like, 'Yes, I will forgive you.' The goal is reconciliation built upon forgiveness. If the forgiveness is uncertain, so is the reconciliation. If forgiveness cannot be obtained, the one taking the initiative has done all that he can do under those circumstances."
Pages 223, 227.